Where's all the love?

I feel hollow, like I am deprived of love. I was so happy all this while, suddenly something changed my mood, my attitude drastically. I'm sure everybody has experienced a situation that completely changes their mood, their thinking. It takes a moment. I am this person, who is usually very happy, sometimes without any rhyme or reason, small things make me happy, I feel there is love all around us. But it's weird that I feel lonely all of a sudden, wish somebody would come and give me a hug right now. I know that life is full of up's and downs and the cycle of happiness and sorrow goes on and on, but I desperately need happiness now, hope I find it soon, in something, in someone.Tomorrow is my last board exam (Computer Science) and I still have loads to study. Hope I do well tomorrow. I need a miracle.

"I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream, I have a dream"
From Abba's I have a dream.

Not so good.

I don't know why I am writing this blog post. I am not happy about anything. Today was my Mathematics board exam, I did not do well. The paper was easy, I wish I had studied a bit harder and practised more. When some of my friends said they'd get a 100 or '90 above', The scene from 3 idiots flashed in my mind. I was not satisfied with my performance.A handfull of my classmates did bad, like REALLY bad, I felt bad for them, because I knew that they had put in a lot of effort. When you put in a lot of effort and then you are not successful, It apparently hurts, I haven't experienced that before, I mean I have experienced failure but the reason has always been the fact that I did not do my best. One of my friends was saying that if he doesnt get good marks, He would do something real extreme, He didnt actually mean it, but I feel that this one exam does not determine whether you will do well in your life or not, frankly, Our life is full of tests, this was just another one (an important one though!). When I do not do well in an exam, the instant worry is always what i would tell MY PARENTS, I start imagining how they would react if I told them different things, but reality ALWAYS outsmarts me. I have my computer science exam day after tomorrow, the board exams are over for the bio people, My bio 'friends' went to the mall and had fun today, It dint irritate me much though, because my performance in math had already distressed me a lot. But now I am cool, Hopefully I will do well in Computer Science. Hoping for the best. I simply cannot wait for it to get over. Comp sci. gets over on the 26th and I have my AIEEE Crash course from the 27th, for which I have to travel to Adyar everyday, hope the classes are fun, I joined because Shyam Shankar told me that the teachers are damn nice. Not only that, there was other stuff that he mentioned. :P At this point in time, I have NO FRICKIN CLUE of what career to choose. I wonder if anybody has been so confused. Hope i figure out soon.
God Bless :)